nervous

about the boy i mentioned before:

so, i'm a little nervous. i think that our friendship is starting to morph into something more, and i don't know what to think exactly. i like him, which is great, but there are so many things that make me hesitate. tomorrow we are watching a movie together, and i really want to try and make it as "friend-like" as possible. i want to kiss him so bad! he's so cute, and everything he says, and gets excited about, is just so adorable. makes me want to grab him and just make-out with him...but i'm scared.

i just don't know what i want to come out of this relationship. summer love? sounds nice on paper, but in all reality i get attached way to easily. i really don't want a repeat of my last relationship. it's too hard to live 100 miles away and still have a good relationship. not to mention i just simply do not have time to be serious about someone else right now. grrrr! why do i always have to be so thorough and think everything out. why can't i just dive into something, and just go with the flow?! i envy people who are capable of just letting go of all their inhibitions and jumping head-first into something.

irregardless, sparks are flying on both end, and before long i'm going to have to confront the situation. i can't avoid it much longer. if i do, i think he'll probably just end everything and i won't even have him as a friend. which is definitely not what i want. i guess i have a lot to think about, but if any of you want to provide some advice, it definitely wouldn't hurt.